The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘humor’

Labor Day 2038

Today is Labor Day. According to the United States Department of Labor this is defined as

Labor Day, the first Monday in September, is a creation of the labor movement and is dedicated to the social and economic achievements of American workers. It constitutes a yearly national tribute to the contributions workers have made to the strength, prosperity, and well-being of our country.

What you may not know is that Labor Day, starting in the year 2038, will be a day of unbelievable cruelty. But, only for a select few.

Starting in 2038 (I’d explain more but honestly give me some credit for at least being able to know the future partly) Labor Day will be a day when mothers (I’m not sure if that includes pregnant women too) will be allowed to inflict any amount of pain to anyone. They will not be allowed to kill people, but they can beat and berate to their heart’s content. The day will not longer be a day that is designed to pay tribute to workers, but instead it will be a day designed to level the field – to equalize the amount of pain endured during labor mothers will be allowed to inflict pain on others at their own whim.

Labor Day, the most feared day off work for the majority of the world’s population.

In the meantime, I hope you’re enjoying your present day Labor Day!

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Du Jour of the Week

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Attn: Ellen (8/27/14)

Front

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

Ellen DeGeneres postcard

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

I’m pretty sure this postcard is supposed to be for people who like western ladies but … what? Does the framed photo on the cactus mean this is her home? In that case is she poor or a squatter? If she’s poor is the horse stolen or does she have terrible money management?

Please chime in Ellen and/or Arizona.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR @DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

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Attn: Ellen

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Tough Interview Question

I read that one way to have someone prove their ability to communicate difficult concepts in an easy to understand manner is to ask a question like, “how would you explain a website that is http versus a website that is https to your grandmother.”

First, you may have to familiarize yourself with the technical intricacies of the difference because wait … what does http even stand for? I mean I know s is secure or … like … security but … How does the internet work!?

Anywho, I thought of a question I would ask if I was conducting an interview of someone who I didn’t like because I felt he or she was too cocky: “How would you explain how babies are conceived to your grandmother?” Then when the person insists that their grandma knows or that the question has no relevance for being a clerk at a grocery store I would simply state, “If you want the job,” then I would pause for dramatic effect, “then explain to me, as though I am your grandmother, where babies come from. I went to a Catholic high school so … don’t mind me taking copious notes.”

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Du Jour of the Week

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