The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘nickname’

How to Make a Keanu Reeves Worthy Plot

Pick a word for each of the following categories:

  • Energy source (i.e. gasoline, hydroelectric, solar, etc).
  • Synonym of hug.
  • Method of transportation.
  • Weather word (i.e. stormy, windy, sunny, etc).
  • Food item.
  • Blue collar job.
  • Nickname that you would call someone when you know that you should know their name but you forgot it (i.e. sport, buckaroo, buddy, etc).

Keanu Reeves stars in this summer’s BEST ACTION FLICK.

(Energy Source + Hug Synonym)

Keanu Reeves Stars as (nickname for person you should know) Jones, a nice guy who loves his (blue collar job) and his simple life. And then (food + weather word) comes along and DESTROYS HIS WORLD. With his world destroyed, (nickname) Jones turns to drinks. He is drinking himself into oblivion when he stumbles on the secret that (food + weather word) didn’t just happen on (nickname) Jones. He was chosen.

Drunkenly (nickname) Jones announces his intentions to stop the evil (food + weather word) to his favorite watering hole and heads home. When he wakes up in handcuffs next to Chesty “Heart of Gold” McBarback, another victim of (food + weather word)’s, you know it’s on. Now it’s up to (nickname) Jones and Chesty to get to the bottom of (food + weather word)’s scheme – without getting themselves killed.

Did we mention there will be exploding (method of transportation)? And Chesty, don’t forget about her.


Post the fill in the blank words you picked! What do you think, Keanu?

My Zombie Roomy (4/6/10)


I don’t know what part of the brain it is that does this – but I really enjoy combining two words together. Like celebrity names. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes equals TomKat. That sort of thing.

It’s very idiotic, but it’s very pleasing when you get a good combination out of it. If I had to guess, I would bet the same part of my brain that enjoys this is also the part of my brain that enjoys sock puppets and jokes about ham sandwiches (‘why didn’t the guy eat the ham sandwich? Because the sandwich was complimenting him!’ … get it? Like the sandwich is a ham? Would you believe I just thought of that?)

Anyway I wanted to think of a combination for the Zombie and I. That’s when I realized I don’t even have a nickname for him! Just something to call him besides the Zombie. For a while I thought maybe I’d call him ‘Zomb’, or ‘the great Zombino.’

I’ll admit to saying something he did, “was the Zomb!”

The Zombie and I both wish I hadn’t said that.

Anyway, other possible names have been: “the Zoombmate,” “all I wanna do is go-uh zoom, zoom, zoom, with the Zomb, Zomb, Zomb,” (too long a name, otherwise perfect), “Ombie,” (too emasculating), “Z”, “el Z,” (that was a hit for about a week after he and I watched Zorro), “Butt Face,” (he and I were playing co-op on this one video game and … well, he sucks).

I’ll keep thinking on this name thing. Something good is bound to come to me.

Work has been pretty crazy lately so I haven’t had as much time to hang out. What’s weird is this: I think I may actually miss this brain-dead freak. (Don’t tell him I said that though.)

My Zombie Roomy (1/29/10)

I moved in to my apartment officially today – I had the apartment for the past week or so, but I didn’t have any of my stuff in it so I wasn’t living there yet. Today my stuff came, so I feel ‘official.’

Anyway – I was surprised to find out a zombie lives in my apartment. Even more surprising is that I’m the only one who can see him. The movers thought I was crazy, so eventually I stopped saying, “watch out for the zombie in the bedroom.”

After the movers left I said, “so … I guess you’re my roommate?” He just sort of stared. I stared back. Then, and I can’t explain how I’m so chill with this whole free-loading-zombie-roommate situation, but I thought, why not? I decided to embrace the situation.

I’ll admit I was pretty ticked for a while, but I don’t know anyone here in Houston, so I guess having a roommate isn’t that bad. He’s real quiet, and kind of quirky.

Here’s an example of him being quirky –

“Hi, I’m Brad.”
“No, Brad.”

That’s when I realized he had already come up with a nickname for me. I guess I’m sort of smart, so brains is cool. I’ll have to think of a nickname for him though. If he didn’t call me brains, I’d probably call him that because he loves saying that word.


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