DumbFunnery

Julius Caesar’s Heart Stopped

Julius Caesar was again aware of where he was.

At first he’d been too shocked. He wasn’t aware of his breathing. Everything moved in slow motion. He realized fifty things at once – he’d been taking life for granted was the main idea behind everything.

Yes. Julius Caesar had his first crush.

Time rushed back to him in a flash and he realized he’d just been staring at that girl. Pure joy flowed through him. He had to fight the urge to run and smile so big it’d hurt. Those weren’t appropriate things to do but they were the limitations of his body. Ideally he’d float, but he had to settle for smiles, sighs and suppressing the desire to shout.

A few weeks later he had his first conversation with her.

A month after that he got to talk to her alone for the first time.

A week after that they went out.

“JULIUS!,” Caesar’s mother yelled. “Where are you going?”

Caesar told his mother something, but he has no idea what he said. His mind was approximately 3,276 steps away, at the front door of her house. He’d counted one time.

When she broke up with him, six days later, he was heartbroken. If his brain had been capable of thoughts other than a muted pain, he would’ve sworn that he’d never love again. He was too broken for making love-sick promises. It was March 15th, and Julius Caesar’s heart had stopped.

And so, many many years later, when Brutus stabbed Julius Caesar, and his heart stopped for the second time in his life, he said, “et tu, Brute?”

***

Happy Ides of March day everyone!