The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘idea’

Attn: Ellen (1/3/18)

Front

Ellen332a

Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

 

Ellen332b

The text of the postcard is

Dear Ellen,

Here’s an idea for 2018. Please pass it on. When you’re in person with someone, in 2018, don’t be an a-hole. Online? Go nuts! Be an absolute terror.

Right now … online is mostly jerks, and in person is a grab bag but often unpleasant.

2018 would be a small step in the right direction, plus you’d know what you’re in for.

Brilliant, right?

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com OR
@DumbFunnery

Why am I doing this?

Advertisements

Halloween Costumes to Make it Really Clear You’re Single and Looking

Tandem bike, but with no partner. Still too subtle? Try putting a sign on the other seat that says, “this seat open.”

Any costume at all, but stare far too long at any woman (or man) that walks by.

Get a piece of poster board and go as “Facebook.” Display your relationship status as SINGLE. Still too subtle? Have a bunch of wall postings that no one has liked, except other clearly single friends.

Any costume where your cat is dressed up as part of a themed outfit.

Kissing booth. Still too subtle? Have a sign offering to pay people to let you kiss them.

Idea

Problem:

There are lots of retired folks who are probably making next to nothing, and they have too much free time.

Problem:

Many guys (probably girls too) don’t wash their hands after using the bathroom.

Solution:

One day a month, an unannounced day, a little old lady will sit in the woman’s bathroom and a little old man in the men’s. When someone tries to leave the little old lady or man will SHOOT the dirty person with a paintball gun.

Thus, the dirty folks are known throughout the world.

Final Result:

You know who not to touch. Also, I giggle.

Secondary Final Result:

I get made fun of for being a 26-year old man giggling in the corner of a bathroom.

%d bloggers like this: