Front
Back (apologies for my handwriting!)
The text of the postcard is
Dear Ellen,
It’s pretty well-established that dolphins are awesome, right? So why aren’t there more Valentine’s cards that say stuff like, “You’re cooler than Flipper, wanna get some ice cream?”
Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com
P.S. Happy Valentine’s!
2/15/10
I never thought I’d spend my Valentine’s day with a zombie. But I did.
And you know what, it was weird.
I’m curious if I have a gay, freeloading zombie roommate. I mean, I’m fine with gay people, but I was getting some weird vibes from the zombie last night, so this is kind of worrying me.
I may be crazy, that’s entirely possible – but I swear there were little things that kept happening. Like, the zombie was sitting in the middle of the couch. You don’t do that. You sit on one side. And then I turned on the TV and you know what movie was playing? The Breakfast Club.
That seemed more zombie-gay yesterday. Maybe I’m being irrational. All right, my brain is just fried from a long day of work I guess. I’m going to watch some TV and eat some cookies. I’m going out of town, to New Orleans with two friends … I think the time apart from the zombie may be a good thing.
2/13/10
The Pedantic Poem
It’s Valentine’s and I’m feeling romantic
So I want to write you a simple poem to say how I feel – without big words like pedantic
We go together like a fat guy and bacon
And unless I’m mistaken
Our love is deeper than a pot heads desire for Fritos
Do you get the full effect of my affection in this prose?
We’re a better team than alcohol and karaoke
There’s nothing better than you and me
We’re more impressive than that steam that rises off bald black football players heads during cold games
To be near you, with you and around you are my only aims
We’re the total opposite of walking to a job interview in a fancy new suit and having a bird crap on your head
You’re the last thought i have before I go to bed
Our love is stronger than a scary con on steroids
I like you so much I’d rather listen to you talk about work than judge people in the tabloids
We fit together better than a sports announcer and mind-numbing amounts of repetition
Doe-eyed, gooey-eyed, mumbling, drooling and grinning like an idiot is my condition
Are you tracking like a VCR?
Romance is wherever you and I are
*
Happy Valentine’s everybody!
Enjoy some pictures from Anna and I hitting up the San Francisco Valentine’s day pillow fight last year!
DumbFunnery 