The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘fun’

Attn: Ellen (5/25/11)

Front


Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

The text of the postcard is:

Dear Ellen,

The biologist hired as a consultant for cow’s anatomy may have been a fake.

But between you, me, and cows everywhere – wouldn’t it be cool if cows had a fruit-salad-waiting-to-happen for a neck?

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

My Zombie Roomy (5/24/11)

Well, it’s been an interesting last few days with the Zombie. I don’t know where he learned this, but he’s started doing the ‘wink, wink, nudge, nudge’ thing to me.

At first, it was hysterical. I cracked up a ton and I figured he kept doing it randomly because it was getting such a reaction from me.

I was wrong. It turns out he just does it randomly. You would think this would be comedy gold, but it’s not. I think he’s picked up maybe a third of the objects in my house and done the wink/nudge thing with them. I have no idea what you’re implying Zombie and neither do they, because they’re inanimate.

Oh wait … I maybe take it back. He just picked up a Lego man that is a gorilla and did that and I find this strangely hysterical.

(Don’t get the wink wink, nudge nudge? Check out this excellent guide.)

An Ode to the Non-Review

I posted a challenge here which Dear Mr. Hendrik won hands down. And not just because he was the only person who responded (although that didn’t hurt his odds).

Here’s the challenge:

“My challenge to you, dear reader(s) – come up with an innuendo phrase that involves socioeconomic. The winner of the challenge will get a very crappy poem written to/about/for them. The poem will probably not make sense, but it will rhyme.”

So without further ado!,

An Ode to the Non-Review

Don’t fall for the trick
Of Mr. T.S. Hendrik
And foolishly misconstrue
The “Non”-Review

If I want my dose snark
With a side of review
Or a cat with a caustic remark
I turn to the “Non”-Review

There’s nothing non about his reviews
He’s looking up movies you haven’t seen while you snooze

But what IS The Non-Review?
(If you don’t already) It’s time you knew:

It’s the land of the 7 Word Weekend Skewer
The land of Pete, the large-toothed ne’er doer
The land of the numerically-oriented (Just the facts, ma’am) reviewer
And, lest we should forget, Wilfred Brimley’s never been bluer

So congratulations to T.S.
Who keeps his fans coming back saying “yes”
Here’s to more Non-Reviews
Something-something, rhyme-aroos

I felt the need for gibberish to end, because I promised that it would rhyme, not that it would make sense.

Want a crappy poem written about you or your blog, or your imaginary cat? Let me know … I may get around to it, if you’re cool enough.