The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘dumb’

My Zombie Roomy (8/2/11)

I think the Zombie actually did manage to somehow combine with a werewolf. Is there some website he used for this? Or maybe a bulletin board at the local college?

“Unkempt, antisocial (except for during dinner), night owl seeks same. Hoping to hear from you.”

The reason I say this about a werewolf is because the Zombie has been attacking squirrels and birds lately. More dog than werewolf, but I figure it sounds cooler to talk about my Zombie-wolf roommate than my Zombie roommate who is dog-like.

It’s actually really annoying though. I hope this weird dog-thing wears off soon. Do you have any idea how annoying zombie pigeons are? I’ll tell you – they’re exactly as annoying as regular pigeons but they CAN’T DIE!

I may need to consider moving, it’s rough out here.

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My Zombie Roomy

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How to Make a Keanu Reeves Worthy Plot

Pick a word for each of the following categories:

  • Energy source (i.e. gasoline, hydroelectric, solar, etc).
  • Synonym of hug.
  • Method of transportation.
  • Weather word (i.e. stormy, windy, sunny, etc).
  • Food item.
  • Blue collar job.
  • Nickname that you would call someone when you know that you should know their name but you forgot it (i.e. sport, buckaroo, buddy, etc).

Keanu Reeves stars in this summer’s BEST ACTION FLICK.

(Energy Source + Hug Synonym)

Keanu Reeves Stars as (nickname for person you should know) Jones, a nice guy who loves his (blue collar job) and his simple life. And then (food + weather word) comes along and DESTROYS HIS WORLD. With his world destroyed, (nickname) Jones turns to drinks. He is drinking himself into oblivion when he stumbles on the secret that (food + weather word) didn’t just happen on (nickname) Jones. He was chosen.

Drunkenly (nickname) Jones announces his intentions to stop the evil (food + weather word) to his favorite watering hole and heads home. When he wakes up in handcuffs next to Chesty “Heart of Gold” McBarback, another victim of (food + weather word)’s, you know it’s on. Now it’s up to (nickname) Jones and Chesty to get to the bottom of (food + weather word)’s scheme – without getting themselves killed.

Did we mention there will be exploding (method of transportation)? And Chesty, don’t forget about her.

Fin.

Post the fill in the blank words you picked! What do you think, Keanu?

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Du Jour of the Week

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How to Deal with Criminals – Poetry Style

Sometimes crime happens. And a criminals worst nightmare might by a little poetry. Memorize these, they could save you some grief.

I

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
If I put down my gun
So should you

II

Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?
No, because summer never stole my favorite shoes.
Please give them back.

III

Sweet as a cookie,
Sharp as a tack.
My car was not bought
To experience carjack.

IV

O captain, my captain
Where is my watch?
Seriously … who took my watch.

V

The devil dances
And dines
And devours
The unwary travelers of life
You’re not the devil
But you come close with that knife

VI

What is life?
What is the purpose for all of this strife?
Who are we?
Please, anonymous hacker, un-steal my identity?

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Du Jour of the Week

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