Front
Back (apologies for my handwriting!)
The text of the postcard is:
Dear Ellen,
“Mmmm, succulent meat,” she said seductively.
“Your pie … is tasty,” he said gruffly.
“Wait – I didn’t make pie.”
“Well, I’m sorry. This whole ‘sexual Thanksgiving’ thing is weird.”
Happy Thanksgiving to Ellen + Everybody!!
Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com
Well, Halloween has past.
Something happened on the Sunday before Halloween which I have been dealing with the past few weeks.
I tried dealing with it in a lot of ways. Acceptance, tribute, sadness, guilt. But ultimately denial and alcohol seemed to be most appropriate.
There was a girl I liked. She was very leggy. And very vavoom. How vavoom you ask? She went as Jessica Rabbit. THAT vavoom.
I was trying to charm her with my utter lack of charm (my non-game game as a friend put it), when suddenly she seemed distracted. Someone else in the bar had caught her eye. I knew I was cooked, and I’m a proud guy, so I politely ended our conversation.
Later that night, I saw her in the parking lot trying to flirt with the Zombie. I guess she goes more for the silent type (which I am most definitely not).
This is still a little harsh. It’s not easy to swallow being passed up for an undead cannibal. But hey, everybody finds somebody sometime, right Dino?
Front
Back (apologies for my handwriting!)
The text of the postcard is:
Dear Ellen,
Copenhagen was beautiful. I honestly wouldn’t have been surprised if a unicorn walked by when we were walking around.
UNLESS the unicorn was not pretty – in which case it would not pass Copenhagen citizenry requirements.
Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com
DumbFunnery 
