The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘funny’

What a Fun Trip!

And then I said “wow what a trip!,” and mom said, “that was a fun trip,” and I thought, “holy cow mom’s on acid!” and she said, “no I’m not on acid I meant the family vacation,” and then she turned into a dragon and ate dad and I thought, “maybe this isn’t a fun trip.”

Uhhh … What?

A guy I work with uses the word “dragon” as a synonym for a problem of any kind.

“Get to work on this and you’ll find some dragons!”
“I bet there’s a whole box of dragons once you get into that.”
etc.

I had a meeting with him and he talked about dragons, and I tried to focus while thinking about my upcoming trip – and voila – that piece of weird up top came out.

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Short Short Stories

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Attn: Ellen (11/2/11)

Front



Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

The text of the postcard is:

Dear Ellen,

Malmo, in Sweden, is great. Unfortunately I ruined the day by constantly suggesting we head to Norway.

Why?

Well, I really wanted to go to a Burger King in Norway and say, “have it Norway.”

Honestly how could I not want to do that?

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

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Attn: Ellen

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Paranoia – Catch It!

At lunch recently I was talking with a friend about things we’ve heard people do that are paranoid. It was a fun talk. Here are some of the things. Please comment and add any others you know.

1 – If you go to a fast food type place and they say, “do you want your receipt?” you say yes. Not because you’re going to look at it – but because you think if you say “no” they’ll think you’re lazy and hack into your account. Or some other equally odd reason.

2 – When you have to agree to a license while downloading anything on your computer you scroll all the way to the bottom before hitting ok. Not because you’re reading it, but because you think they’ll judge you/do something if you don’t.

3 – After getting your car back from a dealership (or tune up shop of any kind) – before belting out and singing along (horrendously) you have a split second fear that someone in the dealership is setting you up to be the next unintended YouTube sensation.

4 – Writing a blog post or a comment about something your “friends” do…

 
Hopefully if you didn’t have a pointless paranoia like one of these, you will now!

And again, please feel free to add your own! (Or, you know, some guy you know who knows a guy who like totally does that or whatever.)

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Du Jour of the Week

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