The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘dumbfunnery’

My Zombie Roomy (7/7/11)

This could be bad.

I was watching Wolf, starring Jack Nicholson and Michelle Pfeiffer, and suddenly the Zombie sat bolt upright.

If I had been Scooby Doo I would’ve said, “ruh roh.” I’m not Scooby Doo, so instead I said the human, four-letter equivalent of “ruh roh.”

That’s when the Zombie tried to howl like a wolf. It was like watching a cat bark. Not natural, but kind of funny. Only most barking cats don’t get up, walk out of your apartment, and disappear into the woods for a few days and come back with hair glued all over their clothes.

So I guess the Zombie is pretending to be a werewolf for a while? Let’s hope it’s a short phase, I keep having to vacuum and it is so annoying.

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My Zombie Roomy

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Attn: Ellen (7/6/11)

Front


Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

The text of the postcard is:

Dear Ellen,

I feel like the signing of the Declaration of Independence may have had the same kind of “next day effect” as being drunk and saying “I love you” to someone. You know, you wake up the next day and say, “wait WHAT did I say?!”

Hope you had a nice 4th of July and didn’t commit yourself to anything crazy.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

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Attn: Ellen

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Did You Know – Excrement Edition

Sometimes if someone is very angry they might yell that something is bull shtuff (that’s edited, dontchya know). Well, Mr. Angry-Yelling-Pants, I bet you didn’t know that you can cite other animals excrement to convey other feelings.

Bull Isht –                      Anger
Old Man Isht –              Confusion
Dragon Isht –                Happiness
Steven Segal Isht –     Bloated
Chicken Isht –              Anger, with a hint of amusement
Dinosaur Isht –            Consternation over taxes
Old Lady Isht –            Desire to hang out with kids, and possibly give them 14 cents
Racist Isht –                  Kill whitey

Do you know of any other telling forms of shtuff? Post them in the comments!

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Du Jour of the Week

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