The intellectual equivalent of a ham sandwich.

Posts tagged ‘Ellen DeGeneres’

Attn: Ellen (10/12/11)

Front


Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

The text of the postcard is:

Dear Ellen,

I just returned from my first trip to Europe!

Europe!!

Land of wonder, and beer, and chocolate, and such history!

And now source for the next batch of postcards since I bought a crap ton while there. Sorry, Europe.

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

P.S. How. Are. You?!

Attn: Ellen (10/5/11)

Front


Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

The text of the postcard is:

Dear Ellen,

This is the 50th postcard!!

Is my dedication to this impressive or creepy? Why not both!

Say, want to have me on your show and introduce me to a literary agent? That’d be swell. I checked my calendar and it looks like I’m available ALWAYS.

Bluntly & Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

Attn: Ellen (9/28/11)

Front


Back (apologies for my handwriting!)

The text of the postcard is:

Dear Ellen,

You ever feel like a tiny man in a tux with a giant Asian woman staring at you skeptically/with disappointment?

… Or is that just me?

Sincerely,
DumbFunnery.com

P.S. Who wants a strawberry/heart? (What IS that thing??)